User Profile

The List as of 10/10

FIRST TIER
Thora Birch
Jena Malone
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Zooey Deschanel
Clea DuVall
Naomi Watts
Uma Thurman
Emily Perkins

SECOND TIER
Anna Paquin
Agnes Bruckner
Dominique Swain
Sarah Polley
Katharine Isabelle
Shannyn Sossamon
Alison Lohman
Erika Christensen

THIRD TIER
Chyler Leigh
Ellen Muth
Maria Bello
Rachael Bella
Daveigh Chase
Scarlett Johansson
Catherine Keener
Leelee Sobieski


- Hunter Altman, as drawn by Joe Kimmelman

LIVEJOURNAL WORKS


Poetry

"Steph's Been Pushing Me To Use 'I Think Steph's Hot' As A Title Again"
June 03, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/2412.html

"Curiosity Killed The Cat... But Satisfaction Brought It Back!"
September 15, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/5030.html

"There's an Immediate Care Waiting Room in the Hospital"
June 12, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/2915.html

"Tears"
April 28, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/38840.html


Scripts

"The President Gives a Speech At The End of This Movie" (Anti-Drug PSA for Health)
January 04, 2004
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/6744.html

"This One Has More Tarantino-Esque Pop-Culture References"
November 7, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/5753.html


Uncategorized

"Takeout Chinese for Thanksgiving" - 'blueprint'
November 28, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/6060.html

"Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover"
August 31, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/4472.html

"My Social Worker Called Me A Hippie"
September 9, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/4673.html

"I Have A Balloon On My Floor"
September 29, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/5556.html


Photo Stories
NOTE - Photo Stories 1 and 2 will not work well it seems until I transfer the photos over to a new site. That will... take a while, likely.

"A Picture Says Somewhere Near 74 Words, I'd Say"
December 12, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/6444.html

"Hunter Altman Presents: The Quest For Love/Lust. Brought to you in widescreen, except for three in tallscreen."
March 03, 2004
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/9782.html
"Why is the Hallway Empty?"
June 04, 2004
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/51997.html


Editorials/Rants/Essays

Chicken Flying Over Grass
May 08, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/1612.html

"This Doesn't Deserve A Funny Title"
December 1st, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/6340.html

"I Got My Learners Permit The Day Of The Blackout of '03"
September 20, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/5229.html

"How To Lose A Girl In 10 Days (and then ask an attendant to call his name over the PA and find her)"
July 08, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/3661.html

"I am Jack's Extremely Moderate Talent At Writing"
July 12, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/4056.html

"I Think Steph's Hot"
May 03, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/1263.html

"Smelly cheese in a Tank, That Grows Mold and Kills People
originally known as
Bacon Double Cheeseburger- now comes with the Antidote!"
June 08, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/2794.html

"Smelly cheese in a Tank, That Grows Mold and Kills People, PART 2"
June 16, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/3108.html

"This Is Where The Story Starts"
May 02, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/749.html

"Your Voice Is Loud and Obnoxious"
May 30, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/2300.html


Short Stories

"Crop Circles in Chia Pets"
May 20, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/1870.html

"Escape The Fish"
January 06, 2004
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/7136.html

"This Story Wasn't Written By Me, It Was Written by Michelle"
May 07, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/1479.html


Reviews

"Monkeys Can Fly, I Don't Know"
June 22, 2003
http://www.livejournal.com/users/maltman/3384.html




Hunter Altman: The Rabbi of Creativity for Fun @ Daves World!


Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool.
- Alabama, True Romance



"She prayed then to whatever power may care/
In comprehending justice for the grief/
Of lovers bound unequally by love"
- Virgil's Aeneid, Book IV:720-722

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